Octavio Paz said, “What distinguishes modern art from the art of other ages is criticism.” Use this concept to evaluate and provide constructive criticism on poetry by high school students. Don’t forget to use the TPCASTT and answer the following poetry evaluation questions.
Poetry Evaluation questions
1)Does the speaker of the poem feel life has changed? How do you know?
2)What message is the author trying to convey or help you understand?
3)Does it relate to anything in your own life?
4)Does it give you a new way of looking at something?
5)Identify figurative language in the poem (simile, metaphor, personification, etc.)
from: www2.scholastic.com/content/.../m/.../Poetryevaluationquestions.pdf
Links to poems by high school students:
http://www.collier.k12.fl.us/nhs/lmc/poetry/20012002.html
http://dc.gov/DCPS/In+the+Classroom/Student+Gallery/Student+Writing/Poems+by+High+School+Students+in+the+DC+Creative+Writing+Workshop
Conclusion of my Love
ReplyDeleteby John R.
Love...
Is like a weed that grows in
neglected gardens, like a spell
that possesses you in silence, like
an order you obey without wanting to.
I don't know...I don't know...I don't know
whether to think if it is good or bad,
because only in seconds it takes
you to heaven to enjoy the stars
and the new paradise that you have found,
pondering if all this beauty would be limited.
Hey! Wait a minute, it was all an illusion,
a dream that doesn't last, a danger
to your heart...
After you awake, in the moment love
starts to abandon you, and you stop
dreaming is when perhaps you will
fall, from the heavens you created to
the earth that you left and the
suffering begins.
The author, John R., from Naples High School conveys not only the beauty of love, but also the pain that accompanies heartbreak and rejection. The title in itself explains that the author is speaking of a personal experience; it is “The Conclusion of [his] love,” expressing both positive and negative aspects of this emotion. What seems to be beautiful and illusory becomes painful and harmful-almost unreal. Love is a part of everyone’s life, and the author awakens from his “new paradise” only to begin “suffering.” John R. realizes that love does not guarantee happiness, blinding people from the despair that can follow. The entire first stanza is composed of similes to compare love, but the word choice demonstrates the author’s attitude toward this affection. The “weeds” in “neglected gardens” shows the crazy, feral mind when in love, while obeying the unwanted order reveals the vulnerability of thought. The repetition of “I don’t know” proves the author’s uncertainty of the emotions associated with love. This feeling of passion was only a “dream that doesn’t last;” a nightmare. Based off the author’s poem, love is temporary, only leading to sorrow and anguish. This poem could relate to a death in the family but I believe it leans more towards a bad breakup since “love starts to abandon [him].” Everyone can relate to the feelings of love, and I’ve experienced breakups but none as heart-wrenching as the poet. The poem gives me a new perspective to the meaning of love; this type of affection initially brings happiness and joy to an individual’s life, but the moment a person stops loving another it can be the most devastating feeling to experience.
You Wanted Me 2 (So I Did)
ReplyDeleteby Jonathan J.
You wanted me 2 care, so I did.
You wanted me 2 love, so I did.
You wanted me 2 trust, so I did.
So I did everything you wanted
And you know dat you're all dat I want.
I love you, and I wanna care for you.
And for da first time in my life I really trust--
And I trust you.
You also wanted me to be real,
and show and tell you how I feel,
so I did.
In other words, I gave you everything
dat you wanted.
Now all you have to do is promise me your love...
and your heart.
Jonathan, in his simple, but heartfelt poem, relates the speaker’s feelings toward a special person, as the title reveals. The jargon “2” as a replacement for “to” foretells of the colloquialism that the author will utilize throughout the poem, as well as the age and audience to whom Jonathan directs his poem: teenagers. The title with its first clause and then a response in parentheses speaks to a relationship that the work explores. In paraphrasing this piece, certain elements that would be found in text-messages are also found here. In short, the author pleas for requited love after stating his logic that “...I gave you everything” (12). Verbally weak, it lack any real figurative language, and in fact, champions itself as more of a soliloquy. The tone is rather solid throughout, a supplication to a lover perhaps. There are no definite tone shifts. Concerning theme, it obviously states an individual’s love for another. Jonathan reveals how his life has changed through the force of love that has fulfilled “…all dat I want.” (5). His anaphora at the beginning relays the strength of this attachment. His message, although riddled with clichés, is no-where near modest in explaining his feelings. He truly wishes to unite himself with another individual. I, as a teenager, have experienced this ardor in love, but truly I believe that this person is a little inexperienced to think that he has found “the one” at such a young age. It is so stereotypical; it has affected me in almost no way. Further, its lack of any intelligible devices concretely makes this poem out to be a reject if it were to be a candidate for Spectrum.
American Proverb
ReplyDeleteExpect less, respect more
Work less, volunteer more
Frown less, smile more
Buy less, give more
Worry less, live more
Regret less, forgive more
Reject less, befriend more
Assume less, trust more
Talk less, listen more
Hurt less, save more
Eat less, feed more
Hurry less, wait more
And all good things will be yours.
~ Jennifer B.
Jennifer’s poem has a deep meaning, but it is simply stated. That is one thing that I try to do when I write poetry. She wants to make a change, and that is something that I full heartedly believe in. Writing in a simple tone enables more people to understand the poem. It is straight up, and therefore can be connected to personal experiences by the reader with minimal grey area or confusion.
1.) The speaker does feel like time has changed. It is though she is applying knowledge learned either from past or personal experiences and applying them in order to give effective advice.
2.) The author is trying to help the reader change actions in hope for a better future. The message is about taking the time to be a good person and friend. In the end genuine traits will shine and you will be rewarded by the happiness of being kind and compassionate to others.
3.) Yes, I can relate this poem to my life. It is relatable because a lot of conflicts that I have faced in my life could have been avoided if I had only taken the time to help others instead of worrying about myself.
4.) Instead of giving me a new way of looking at life, it restates a lot of important actions that I should be doing more in life. A lot of the things are easier said than done, so I am going to have to make a conscious effort to make sure that I don’t just preach the actions but actually practice them.
5.) One thing that the author uses is repetition. The words “less” and “more” are stated over and over again in order to emphasis the importance of thinking of ones self less and others more. The antonyms also serve as a purpose to differentiate between what is happening and what needs to be done in order to have an effective change. The point of view is personal and therefore makes the meaning special because the author is speaking from their heart rather than just stating something and putting it on paper.
My Love
ReplyDeleteby Yomari R.
You show me that you care with your affectionate way.
I cannot bear to be without you for many days.
A smile comes to my face and makes me feel safe.
I have nothing to fear.
You cheer me up whenever I am down,
for a long time you will be around
1) The speaker of the poem is afraid of life changing. She does not believe it has changed yet, but fears that it will change soon for the worse. She does not want her lover to leave her for fear that her world will collapse and her life will have no purpose if they do. In order for this person to stay sane, they need their soulmate with them.
2) The author is trying to convey the importance of love in her life. She hopes to get across her feelings for her counterpart, and the fact that they are a necessity in her life.
3) All of us have something of our personal belonging that is special to us. I am no different. There are belongings of mine that I desire to keep forever because they make me feel like a better person and safer inside.
4) No it does not give me a new way of viewing anything. I know to appreciate what I have, for I am lucky to have anything at all. I can not afford to take anything for granted. They are a lot of people that are far worse off than I.
5) The poet incorporates a rhyme scheme that places emphasis and importance on the entire poem. Without the rhyming, the poem would not flow as well and the reader would not be nearly as captivated.
*****BLOG CHANGE*****
ReplyDeleteCreate your own poetry evaluation consisting of four or more criteria. Then evaluate one poem from the links provided above with the poetry evaluation you created. Be sure to include what criteria/ questions were in your poetry evaluation within your blog post and choose a poem that has not been analyzed so there is no repetition.
Great job to everyone so far!
In the poem, “Since I Knew You” by Yomari R., the author describes the intense feelings of love he has for another, but fear this love because it is so powerful.
ReplyDelete1) What does the poet use to covey theme?
The poem uses lustful adjectives to describe his lover such as “sweet look” and “conquered…with my heart” portray how seriously the author feels about this other individual. The assertive language used to describe shows that Yomari depicts this character as being strong at heat for these feelings, but hesitant because these feelings have the ability to change his world forever.
2) What structure does the poet use?
The poet uses free verse throughout the poem. He sues two lines per stanza and a final line at the very end. He does this to close the poem as a cliff-hanger leaving the character unsure of how to react to true love. The free verse shows the stream of consciousness of someone in love. This makes he poem more relatable as many people have sympathized with the main character’s thoughts.
3) Is the poem original?
The poem’s theme of true love does seem a bit expected. The main character has fallen in love, and from then on life is changed forever. However, the poet takes an interesting twist by fearing love and seeing it as untruthful, while most authors open love with open arms.
4) Does the poet flow well, and use creative language?
Over the entire poem did seem to flow well. The opening “since I knew you”, shows the character’s compulsive love for the other. The a=language seemed a bit juvenile as adjectives such as “sweet look” seem elementary.
Poetry Evaluation questions
ReplyDelete1) Is the point of the poem coming across clearly to the audience?
2) What is the greatest strength the poem has? What is the poem’s greatest weakness?
3) Are there specific sensory descriptions?
4) Does the poem have a rhythm or cadence?
#1
He's among the top three,
Not in class, but the whole country.
Self-proclaimed genius, but modesty is his profession,
But his pointless confessions further hides his depression,
Fate is cruel, ending is a mess,
Tears of woe fill the room, but I digress.
No help from anyone, but I have to confess,
With a mind like that, this took me by surprise,
His ingenuity and intelligence shouldn't be his demise,
Why can no one hear his cries?
I believe I can handle that question myself,
He never asked anyone for help.
By: Sequan Wilson
The picture of the top student being to driven and focused to the point that he was unhappy and took his own life is clearly painted in this poem. The greatest strength the poem has are the specific lines such as “fate is cruel, ending is a mess.” This line tells everything without actually saying it all. The poem’s greatest weakness is the beginning when he talks about him being one of the top three in the country. These lines (lines 1 and 2) are unnecessary, and they could be removed from the poem without changing the tone, theme, or mood. The fact that no one could hear his cries taps into not just a visual approach, which poetry usually takes, but an auditory approach. You are able to actually “hear” and know what his death sounded like and not just what it looked like. In the couple of lines where he rhymes there becomes a cadence to these words concluding lines 3 and 4, 5-7, and 8-10.
Inspiration
ReplyDeleteA poem to me is a waste of time,
an unneeded pain, a rough draft of migraines,
more unwanted thoughts drenching paper.
Yeah, it makes sense, I guess.
I don’t see how people find hope in metaphoric nonsense,
or how they convey secret messages through it.
All we are is bullets.
And the words trigger confusion,
minds bleed a pride puddle.
A poem to me is another way of screaming out loud.
When I’m frustrated, a break of some sort,
a natural euphoria.
By:Maryum Abdullah
1) What is the overall theme to the poem?
2) Does the poem hold a different meaning for you?
3) What kinds of devices does the speaker use to get his main idea across?
4) If you had to present this poem to an audience, what things would you focus on?
The overall theme to the poem, I feel, is the fact that although a lot of people find shelter in the words of a poem the speaker obviously doesn’t take shelter within the poem instead they attack from a different angle, claiming it to be some sort of venting device. They describe it at the end as “another way of screaming out loud.” This holds that the speaker finds the loveliness and uplifting spirits a poem can sometimes have as a waste of time, relinquishing to it’s potential destructive abilities instead. The poem doesn’t necessarily hold a different meaning for me, but I do kind of disagree with the speaker. I believe that a poem can be whatever the author chooses it to be, a way to “convey secret messages,” or signal, “hope in metaphoric nonsense.” The speaker uses devices such a similes and creative diction to get his point across. He expresses how “we are is bullets” and a poem is a “rough draft of migraines”. If I were to present this poem to an audience in an attempt to show it off I would definitely zone it on how it uses clever and witty diction to describe the poem. Added to that I would really focus on the tone the speaker conveys through his poem, showing his dislike for poetry even though he must use a poem to express that very disdain. Finally, I would attract attention to the lines within the lines, and how everyone can take this poem a different way, everyone has a different opinion and this just one way of voicing it to the world without actually offending anyone.
I Be I Don’t Know
ReplyDeleteI be broke down cars
I be stolen vehicles at night
I be stuff happens, my bad
I be what up
No reason for it
I be silence it
Was a gift
I be thrashed victims
Murder for no reason
I be corner smarts, black smarts and
A little Higher Education
I be guidance counselors
I be attendance for the fallen
I be quitting when it gets too
Hard, I be surviving through a
School day
I be a poet
Damon Kee
Frank W. Ballou Senior High School, Grade 11
1. The poet does not feel life has changed, rather he is reflecting on a current climate directed towards blacks. This is evident through his recurrent theme of evidencing the many ways, in which a black is stereotyped, true or not.
2. The author is conveying the complexities and hardships of being black, both because of stereotypes and also unfortunate circumstances that are typical of poor, black boys and men. He shows that their are many different roles and expectations.
3. I do not find that this poem relates to my life particularly. However, the trend of stereotyping is a universal theme in the human experience. Additionally, it often that people fall into what others expect of them, whether expectations are that they will amount to nothing or that they will achieve greatness. One’s surroundings, upbringing, and social climate contribute greatly to their attitude on life and affect their potential.
4. I like the fresh perspective on what is described above in question 3. It is often this theme is expressed. However, it is not often portrayed in this light for me.
5. Anaphora is used extensively throughout the poem with the line “I be.” This slang jargon makes the cultural allusion to blacks clear and again enforces the stereotypes that blacks speak this way. There is also extensive use of metaphors as the speaker becomes an array of situations or things.
Here
ReplyDeleteby Robert K.
I held its lifeless body in my palms,
after seeing its last breath breathed,
and with its breath went its life.
As I saw this little swallow die,
I was undoubtedly on Earth for the first time.
My mind was one with my body,
and was not receding to that unknown place when tragedy envelops you.
I was here,
and it was so beautiful.
The speaker of the poem feels as if life has changed. The speaker is vividly describing the death of a swallow. He recollects the life of the bird, but he has an epiphany, he realizes that instead of mourning the death of the creature, he celebrates the life of the animal and the afterlife that awaits. The author wants to show how humans have yet to grasp the full range of emotions that death sometimes creates. It relates to my life because although I am depressed when a person close to my family dies, I realize that in the long run, heaven is a much better place than the suffering they were enduring. Diction was utilized to create strong imagery when the author wrote “tragedy envelops.” Also a metaphor was used when Robert K. said, “I was undoubtedly on Earth for the first time.”
Boredom
ReplyDeleteTo get through these long hours I count the coffee tables and how many steps I'll take before I jump in. I check the time twice and zone out, but the time is not up. I pay the scenario, keep a penny in my pocket Just for the thoughts.
Maryum Abdullah
Frank W. Ballou
What structure does the poem employ?
It utilizes free verse as far as rhyming. However, it alternates with couplets using the first person “I” to show the personal nature of the poem.
What is the mood of the poem?
There is a sense of boredom and monotony, and concludes with the realization that no matter the authors outlook on the situation, it does not change the situation because “the time is not up.”
What are some original aspects of the poem.
The author counts coffee tables in similarity to counting sheep in order to go to sleep and dull the boredom. The term “a penny for your thoughts” is transitioned to a penny in his own pocket for his thoughts in order to pay for the scenario he creates.
How is the author’s boredom shown?
It is demonstrated by “long hours,” the counting of coffee tables, checking the time, and zoning out.
Overall, great job everyone! It was interesting to read poems that were written by other students. I hope everyone enjoyed this blog and were further able to expand and apply your knowledge of poem analysis.
ReplyDeleteHaving the opportunity to create your own poem analysis enabled the depth of how much we have learned in the process of studying poetry. After reading through everyones responses, the questions that you all came up with were a reflection of true understanding of the poem and the meaning behind it. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI agree Taylor!
ReplyDelete