In light of Spectrum season! We will be evaluating and critiquing poetry :)
Read the tips for evaluating poetry and critique the poems.
Title — Appropriate to subject, tone and genre? Does it generate interest, and hint at what your poem's about?
Subject — What is the basic situation?
Tone — What is the tone? How does the author convey the tone?
Word choice —diction, and syntax
Literary terms- metaphor, smile, imagery
Rhythm and meter — Does it have a rhyme scheme? If it does hat type and how does it contribute to the flow?
Use these guidelines and create your own analysis. Pick a poem from one of these amateur poets, please pick a new poem so we have variety.
http://www.angelfire.com/or2/poetryhaven/artists/artistlists.html
Posted by Sarah, Ray, and Jessica
Due by Tuesday, February 22, 2011...
or else ------------->
In the poem “Untitled” by Shannon Wilson the speaker struggles with the decision to go public with the relationship she is in with another girl. The title or lack thereof is appropriate to the subject of uncertainty in the poem. The lack of a title shows that the speaker cannot define what she is feeling about the possible repercussions and hatred she may endure from going public with her relationship. The tone is one of confusion and uncertainty and through the word choice and choppy, short sentences the tone is conveyed. The speaker uses short, simple sentences without any elevated meaning to make the entire situation as easy and simplified down as possible, in hopes of finding understanding in the simplicity. Wilson uses simple phrases like "I love her/ She loves me", stripping their feelings down to the bone to analyze them as closely as she can. Things like rhyme or rhythm are not in this poem, again, to keep things as simple and straightforward as possible. As far as literary terms, a rhetorical question concludes the poem with, “Isn't that all that matters?” begging the answer that, yes, their love is all that matters and all that the other people think, do, or say in response to their love is meaningless. With the inclusion of this device the reader’s hopes are steered towards the hope of the two girls being brave enough to face the critical world together.
ReplyDeleteIn her poem "I'm Thinking of You," Janelle Leek reveals that she constantly thinks about this person, no matter where she is or what she is doing. The title is very blunt as she puts herself right out there, then proceeds to repeat the line throughout the poem, to enhance the sense of longing for this person on the reader. Throughout the poem, Leek explains that no matter where she is she cannot stop thinking about this person, even as she is amongst some of the most amazing sights in Europe and the world; London, Paris, Austria, etc. Clearly the magnificence of this person outshines that of the greatest sights in the world. Leek regards this person very highly and merely wants the person to know how she feels, and her tone reveals that she hopes maybe this person thinks about her as well. As Leek proclaims these feelings, she creates a very peculiar rhyme scheme: ABCBCBDBDBEB. The "B" line which is appears repeatedly throughout is the line that rhymes with the title, "I'm Thinking of You" to create a more profound and lasting effect on the reader. All in all, Leek keeps it brief as she uses the insignificance of Europe's wonders compared to the wonders of this mysterious person as she keeps the reader wonder who it's all about.
ReplyDeleteIn "October 9th, 1997," Mandy Howarth recalls the day she found out about her friend committing suicide. The title is incredibly vague. It is not until the end of the poem that readers find out exactly what happened on October 9th, 1997 that made it so significant to Howarth. She does not tie the title into the poem until the last line: "My friend Ryan Long had committed suicide on October 9th, 1997." While the reason for the poem is not stated until the end, it is obvious that "October 9th, 1997" is about loss and grief. The tone is somber and depressing. The poem's structure is interesting in that the lines are brief and choppy, perhaps representative of life's shortness. For instance, some lines only contain two words. The terse formatting of the poem is played up with words reminiscent of death and mourning, like "coldness" and "tears." The poem does not have any sort of rhyme scheme, however, I personally feel that a rhyme scheme would detract from the serious nature of the poem. Overall, "October 9t, 1997" is a poem that not only describes one author's experience of loss, but the universal sadness of losing a friend or loved one.
ReplyDeleteIn the poem “Banana-nana-nana Split”, by Janelle Leek, it seems suggested that the poem is going to merely be about a classic dessert. In order to fully embrace the poem, the reader must look past the obvious.
ReplyDeleteThe speaker is eating a banana split, but Leek presents it in three separate stages. The first stanza explains that the speaker is maybe dressed to impress, and he/she is worrying about the chocolate syrup on his/her shirt. In the second stanza, the speaker seems to have been waiting for “a call”. This could mean either a telephone call or that he/she is meeting a significant other at the restaurant, but it is taking quite a while for his/her companion to come, so the speaker decides just to keep eating. In the third stanza, the speaker has waited and eaten so much that it is beginning to make him/her sick, and it is more than the speaker can bear.
With very playful diction, like “gummy yummy ooey gooey banana-nana-nana split”, the poet seems to be quite happy, but it is the syntax of the words that truly present the feelings of the speaker: angst, preoccupation, anxiety, and disappointment. Though no significant literary techniques are used besides imagery of the chocolate, Leek’s use of rhythm and repetition is evident. She repeatedly uses “gummy yummy ooey gooey banana-nana-nana split”, and she adds the extent of the speaker’s feeling just before this phrase in the last two lines of every stanza. With its sing-song tune and contrasting mood and tone, Leek’s “Banana-nana-nana Split” can give a different interpretation to all its readers through one delectable treat.
For this assignment I chose Alison Cegielka who is not only a poet but also a songwriter. In Alison Cegielka’s “Cinders”, we find a woman who is trapped in a suffocating relationship. The title is somewhat misleading in that you might feel as though you are going to read a poem about burning wood but instead find yourself reading about a young woman who is the servant of her relationship. After reading this dark yet descriptive piece, you see that the title relates to how the woman has been "burned to cinders" because of the way her lover treats her and beats her down. The following lines from the poem help you picture how he has abused her, "You drag my heart into the ground/And stamp it to a sodden mound/You prod my wounds, and break the seals. Alison's harsh words and relation to nature show the bitterness that the girl secretly holds against her lover.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I fell this poem can have many interpretations, I thought that her lover had fallen into the ocean and started drowning. And instead of helping him as she always does, she lets him drown in order to free herself. When she does this, however, she realizes that she will always be connected to him and essentially jumps in after him and dies, "I'm free from you, but one frail bond./Your servant girl..". A tragic poem of love, “Cinders” reveals the dangers of love and its effects on our fragile and manipulative yet revengeful souls.
@Virginia- Good poem and I really like how the title or lack thereof says so much about the poem and the speaker by saying nothing at all. The attention to the simplicity is clearly very important and the questioning end make a significant universal statement.
ReplyDelete@Dan- Good observation of the repetition and it is clearly very important to the message of the poem. Also, the poets use of the insignificance of the Europeans Wonders is very important to the significance of the person the speaker is thinking of.
@Erin- I love how the title is so vague and really keeps the readers attention until the end to find out what happened. Also I really liked how you made a connection between the choppy structure of the poem to the shortness of life.
@Christiana- I really like how the playful title makes the reader think that the poem is going to be playful and happy, when really it is about the underlying angst and anxiety the writer may be feeling.
@Allison- I like how the title is deceptive to the reader but you later realize tat it is about her and how she has been treated. Good analysis.
In Jenelle Leek's poem 'He Died to Live', she remembers the life of her best friend Ryan Long. After the title there is a line in bold that says "In Memory of Ryan Long 1981-1997 We miss you". The poem has a format so that every new stanza alternates between starting toward the right or left. This format adds emotion to the poem as she reveals the loss and memory of her best friend. His death seems to be a suicide because she describes "He died because he thought he was unloved.
ReplyDeleteHe died because he thought he was unwanted.
He died because he thought he had no friends." This apparent reference to Ryan's lack of realization that he did have friends makes Jenelle's admittance to not telling him she loved him and that he was her best friend really brings out the sense of loss of a best friend. She touches highly on the emotions through out the poem through the simple style of the poem. Jenelle Leek makes it plain and simple as to what happened and how she feels about it. Her final remarks about writing in his year book gives the feeling that Ryan will live on just as the memories and notes on the pages of a yearbook.
Mandy Howarth's poem "Lost Time", describes an experience of love and loss of love, and all of the emotions that come with this experience. She describes how she struggles with her emotions and tries beyond everything to keep her feelings tied up and stored deep inside her. All the while, her pain is intense and it is incredibly difficult for her to hold it in. Despite the pain and the suffering that the end of this relationship has caused her, she still can't erase her feelings of eternal love for him. The tone throughout the poem is a bit conflicted, which is also reflected through the diction. She demonstrates this theme of conflict through beginning stanzas with opposing words such as silent and loud. Although the tone and diction relay a theme of conflict, the title, Lost Time, seems to suggest that though she still may have lingering conflicts with the loss of her relationship, she has moved on from it and deemed the relationship a waste of her time. The relationship has drained her emotionally and she has no desire to continue on with this emotional drain in her life. The message that the title gives however is completely contradicted by her final statement that she is eternally in love "from the moment I first looked into your eyes, and time you left me".
ReplyDeleteIn Mandy Howarth's poem titled "The Call" , Howarth uses a simple title to suggest how something so common and very ordinary can completely change a person's life forever. The simple title generate interest because it makes the poem more dramatic. The subject of this poem centers around how life is so short and how one phone call can change someone's life so drastically. As the narrator makes it very clear that she has just received a phone call which reveals the death of her close friend, however the most dramatic part of the poem is revealed when she must deliver the news to a person very close to the one that has just passed. The author also shows how life can change "I uttered three words that had changed my life and would hers", which also continues with the authors use of delivering powerful emotion in short and small ways.The tone of the poem conveys reflection, realization, and mourning. The author does so by describing the situation so vividly which gives us imagery to allow us to the the conversation which makes it much more personal to us and also shows its significance to the narrator if she is able to recall the event with such detail. The tone reflects waking up to a realization as the author says, "It was just another day. I wasn't prepared for that call" which as previously stated demonstrates how life can change forever in an instant without warning. Both the diction and syntax follow with the idea of simplistic but powerful language. By choosing sentences with simple structure such as the opening lines, "Two years ago I received a call" the interest is increased because often times it is the most ordinary things that are able to grab our attention. By choosing words that are easy to comprehend the author also makes the poem universal so that it may relate to a wide variety of audiences. Howarth greatly relies on imagery to create an impact on her work, however she also uses techniques such as capitalizing "FOREVER" to give the word more significance. The poem does not have a specific rhyme scheme, however this contributes to making the poem more relatable because it sounds more like a story than just "another poem".
ReplyDeleteThe poem " Chocolate Milk" by Christina is a post-modern work that takes the reader on a fantasy ride. The title "Chocolate Milk" initially gives the sense of a childhood memory or a warming happy thought. However the reader soon finds that the title represents the exquisite journey of the character Judy. This title fits into the weirdly divine adventure of Judy in her fantasy land. The poem has a simplistic plot of the character Judy exploring a fantasy world in "a hideaway in the sky" with all sorts of unique characterisitcs such as a "cliff of clouds", a "peppermint sea", "blueberry stars", and some "gumdrop rain". However this seemingly wonderful trip is actually Judy's death. she is taking this journey with all sorts of encounters, but she "doesn't realize she's drowning". Judy is happily in awe of her surroundings that she doesn't know she is dying. The author uses colorful situations to mask her demise. Christina has a upbeat tone throughout the poem about death. It is ironic because she paints death as this wonderland childlike adventure when in fact death is portrayed ususally as something unwanted and scary. She conveys her happy tone through childlike descriptions like "purple flying dragons/ swimming in a tangerine sky" to give an dreamy tone. She uses simple childlike words to continue this idea of death as a land of milk and honey masking the reality that a person is dying. This entire poem is one giant metaphor. When the author says "the sky is full of flowers of gray/ and cliffs of clouds" she is describing heaven and when she talks about "the man with the magical hat" who "rolls on the marshmellow moon" she is reffering to the man on the moon, whom Judy encounters on her travel to heaven. It gives the image of death as an exciting trip of the unexpected happiness rather than a dismal scary unknown lurking for one's soul. The poem does not have a rhyme scheme, however, it moves in a swirling pattern which greatly adds to the overall theme of entering a magical world. " Chocolate Milk" gives the afterlife a totally different meaning.
ReplyDeleteThe poem I have chosen is “the rock” by Fabiola Sully. The subject is obviously about a rock through the ages, as the title would summarize. The opening sentence “the rock has been through hell” sets the solemn tone carried the remainder of the poem. I feel the entire poem could be viewed as an extended metaphors. The “rock” is a symbol for people that can withstand even the toughest conditions, the rock is humans. We as people can resist blights of all kind. From blizzards to hurricanes to tornadoes, both literal and symbolic, life can be hell, but we still manage to keep standing at the end of the day.
ReplyDeleteFabiola Sully's poem "Saying i'm Sorry" is my choice of amateur poetry to review. Sully conveys the message of the poem in the title, "Saying i'm Sorry." The poem describes the tension felt when two people have had a disagreement, yet neither one wants to be the first to apologize, fearing that it would be a weakness. Sully conveys the tension in the situation in her last lines "So we are going to stand here/ Just looking at each other/while the pain grows in our hearts." The lack of action between the two characters in the poem builds the tension that everyone has felt when they don't want to say sorry. The stream of consciousness structure of the poem also conveys the strong emotions that are felt in such a situation. All in all, the poem did a great job of expressing the difficult situation of having to admit that you were wrong.
ReplyDeleteJanelle Leek uses the title “Losing Trust” in her poem, simply, because that is exactly what the poem is about: the speaker losing trust in someone. While this is obviously a very relative title, I would have much rather seen a title which was more catchy and left a casual viewer of the title wanting to know more. Instead, she essentially summarizes the poem in the title. The speaker of the poem is obviously getting over a break-up or something of the nature in which he/she has lost trust in that person. I really like how the poem goes in a chronological order, in that the Leek starts with initially trusting the person, to eventually just wanting them to “beat it.” The tone of the poem is best captured in the second stanza when Leek repeats “knew how” at the beginning of each line and uses words such as “stung” to create a feeling of anger and pain. The most obvious literary techniques Leek uses are repetitions of some of the first words of lines and also the overuse of the word I. Both of these techniques help convey the feeling of the poem which is a feeling of disappointment and pain. There are some lines that rhyme which make the poem catchier. However, Leek does not use a specific pattern in the poem.
ReplyDelete@ Haley - I understand what you mean with the alternating position of the lines. It shows the importance of everything she says and definitely adds emotion. It almost makes you pause after every line.
ReplyDelete@Margaret - The way you showed the contradiction between the tone/diction and the title was very interesting. It's almost as if this represents the love... A contradicting love?
@Lindsay - Very interesting! This poem was one of my favorites! It again takes two very dissimilar ideas and brings them together. I think she is stressing death in the child phase of life. The loss of a child or a young person is truly tragic, and no parent, loved one, or friend would ever want to endure that pain. So by painting this picture of lolipops and gummy bears, it might soothe the thoughts of premature death.
@Emily - I like your idea of the rock being humans. You can clearly see the hardships and trials man had to overcome to become what we are today! The rock might also just be what it is a rock? It might represent everything in nature. Besides organisms it is the only thing that has been around for that long, especially today the environment is such an important issue. Maybe the poem is trying to depict a message along those lines?
@Jessie - I completely see from where you are coming. Along with forgiving someone, apologizing is the second hardest thing. Everyone is so proud, that they cannot step down from their "pedestal" and apologize. This poem definitely paints a message that everyone can relate too!
@Brooks - The idea of a more catchy title is interesting. Maybe Leek wanted that simple idea to allow the reader to understand what she was telling before they read the poem? But the chronological order did provide an interesting element to the poem. It was almost like a story.
Overall great job on the blog! There was no need to redirect since everyone picked a different poem! Way to stay creative and get the job done!
In the poem, "Confusion" by Janelle Leek, the overall theme is that of love. Though it seems that sometimes love can be a stale theme in poetry, Leek is able to give it a fresh flare with her rhetorical questions such as "whom do I love" and "which way to go" that lead the reader to question whether or not she will be able to sort through her "confusion" and make the ultimate decision of whom she should spend her life with. She goes through the poem basically with the tone that the title sets, and that is one of confusion and mental choas as she disects her feelings in her conscious as well as her sunconscious. Her alterations in the formatting of the poem catch the reader's attention, and forces them to stay focused on the picture painted before them. Overall the poem truly depicts the human experience of confusion with the tricky game of love, and although the poet is not considered extremely famous, she casts a special light in the topic of love that really sets a reputation for her name.
ReplyDelete@Ciara- I really liked the connection between the title and the theme. Also I agree that the universal message of the human experience of confusion is very significant and a highlight of this poem. :)
ReplyDeleteOops, sorry I forgot to comment on Alex's :)
ReplyDelete@Alex - I completely agree with the relatable statement. I'm sure every parent has said once in their life to their child, "Whenever you call while your driving, I get worried" or maybe it's just my mom. But whatever the case, it is definitely something everyone can relate to. I'm glad you pointed out that it is more of a sorry poem - rather than a rhyming normal poem. This again enhances the "relatabilty". Overall a mature, insightful response!