Using the TPCASTT and the suggestions listed at
http://www.ehow.com/how_5294377_evaluate-poem.html
Be sure to look at:
Speaker
Tone
Diction
Situation
Imagery
Theme
Format
and how they are put together to express emotions/tell a story/get a point across
Evaluate this poetry written by teens from the link http://www.teenink.com/poetry/
Trisha and Rachel
Winter Happiness
ReplyDeletesitting on my rooftop
in the cold winter air
with my sister
side by side
counting every star
and wishing on the ones
we think are the brightest
until we get so tired
we can barely keep our eyes open.
so we climb down
helping each other along the way
as we trip on the ends
of our baggy sleepy pants
lead each other through
the darkness of the house
skipping over the loose floorboards
trying not to wake mom.
climb underneath the
blankets of our squeaky bed
and listen to her voice
as she tells me everything about her day
until i’m way too tired to reply
and fall asleep ….
The main point in “Winter Happiness” is to tell a personal account that the speaker has had with her sister during one winter that she enjoyed because it strengthened the bond between them. The speaker obviously greatly adores her sister which is revealed through the loving tone of the poem which is revealed by the sisters “helping each other” “side by side”. The devices used by the author also help to reveal the relationship between the sisters, not so much as diction but imagery. The “darkness of the house” helps to create the environment in which the sisters help each other through. The image created at the beginning of the poem when they are sitting on the roof in the “cold winter air” also helps to emphasis the close relationship between the sisters as seen by them having fun just by gazing into the sky on the roof. The format of the poem also helps to highlight the situation in the poem. The format breaks the poem into three stanzas, each with a different aspect to the situation of the sisters. The first stanza introduces the sisters and their relationship when they are sitting on the roof having fun with each other while looking at the stars in the sky. The second stanza shows the sisters sneaking into the house late while watching out for each to try to avoid waking their mom. Finally, the third stanza discusses how the sisters talk about everything in their lives in their beds until they fall asleep. Overall, the format helps to divide the situation into different focus areas in the sisters’ relationship from their adoration of each other to their protective nature of each other. This also links to the major theme of the poem of the speaker elaborating on a certain event that shows how much she loves her sister and their good relationship. With all of these different aspects put together, it becomes evident that the author of the poem was revealing emotions and telling a story. The author tells a story of a specific event that then enables her to reveal her loving emotions of her sister without directly stating them. Overall in “Winter Happiness”, the author discusses a event she experiences with her sister that reveals her loving emotions towards her sister which becomes evident after further analyzing the poem.
"I Remember..."
ReplyDeleteNo one was watching and no one was praying
but what does it matter anyway
and everyone could see as she stepped out of the car
that she hit just a little too too hard
the girls in the back were crying out they're dying
their bodies meshed with the car
you could tell they were hit just a little too too hard
so many dying
so many crying
no one was watching
no one was praying
but what does it matter anyway
I remember the day like it was yesterday
I can hear the squeal of the tires
and the ghost of the screams
the crying out loud
the bust of the seams
they all went flying flying
so high on life but they were dying dying
so many dying
so many crying
no one was watching
no one was praying
but what does it matter anyway
and everyone could see as she stepped out of the car
that she hit just a little too too hard
but what does it matter anyway
the rain poured down
as the night crept in
they closed their eyes for the final time
making a wish and holding each other tight
but what does it matter anyway
so many dying
so many crying
no one was watching
no one was praying
but what does it matter anyway
"I Remember..." is about a girl who loses a childhood best friend in a car accident. The author speaks in third person, except in the middle of the poem, where she speaks in first person, showing how this event affects her even though she was not directly involved in it. As one would expect, the tone is somber and depressing, but also apathetic, which ties in the unexpected futures of the people involved and being unable to predict your own fate. This apathy is seen most clearly in the line "but what does it matter anyway", which represents not only the author's sadness about her friend's death but ties in with the theme that physical life does not necessarily equal living. Her friend and the others killed in the crash die peacefully, "...[closing] their eyes for the final time making a wish and holding each other tight", while the driver of the other car lives and is going to have to deal with the guilt for the rest of her life. In the beginning of the poem, "...everyone could see...that she hit just a little too too hard", showing the criticism the surviving driver felt and will feel from other people. The amount of imagery in the poem is also a portrayal of the emotions surrounding the crash and some time after. During the crash, the imagery is not clear, portraying the confusion and anxiety felt during the crash. However, the imagery of the crash, when the author is reflecting on the event, is much more clear and shows how everything is starting to sink in for the speaker as she struggles to make sense of the consequences of this event. The format and rhyme scheme are not consistent throughout the poem, which works to its benefit, as it allows for fluency but without the forced feel often seen with rhyming poems. Such a format shows that even a chaotic event will lead to an expected result of anyone's life - death. Also, the sentences are often incomplete, symbolizing the confusion during the crash and the void the speaker feels now that her friend has died. The use of choral and word repetition shows the impact of the crash and reinforce the feelings around the tragic circumstance. One particular example of word repetition is juxtaposed with a contradicting adjective in the word phrase, "...a little too too hard", and this verbal irony connects with the overall dramatic irony that those who died actually received a more ideal fate than those who survived.
“Child Soldiers”
ReplyDeleteBy Courtney C. Eaton
Their eyes tell silent stories.
Stories that would shock even the darkest of hearts.
These eyes have seen worse than some could even dream of.
They’ve seen killing and death, and pain and suffering to extents that can be hard to imagine.
Eyes that should be learning how to read are instead being taught how to fight.
Emotionless eyes are being forced to kill in gruesome ways.
Eyes that seem to have run out of tears, because crying never helped.
Their sobs are unheard, their tears are unseen.
Children who are innocent are being ruined by men who see no hope in their government.
Men who are willing to take advantage of an irreplaceable innocence.
The eyes are deep brown.
A brown so deep you could get lost in it.
Eyes that catch attention for their beauty.
They silently tell of innocence lost and of silent tears cried.
These are the eyes of a child soldier.
This poem tells the story of poor African children who are lost in a hopeless world. The speaker here is Eaton, who is speaking as a third party observer who is truly heartbroken at the situation of these children. The message of the poem is that by simply staring into the eyes of the children, one can understand the horror that is their life. Eaton states that one can hear “stories that would shock even the darkest of hearts”. The tone is quite depressing, as it is meant to disturb the reader. Eaton wants the reader to realize how great his or her life is compared to these children who have nobody looking out for them. To emphasize this point, she states that the children’s “sobs are unheard” and their “tears are unseen”. Most children in developed countries have parents and friends who are always looking out for them, but the majority of the children in Africa have to fend for themselves, often having to take care of younger siblings as well. Eaton faults the men in Africa for this destruction, as they “are willing to take advantage of an irreplaceable innocence”. She concludes the poem with a powerful statement, saying that the eyes of these children are “the eyes of a child soldier”. They are faced with extreme adversity yet never give up and never feel sorry for themselves. Eaton’s point is to criticize the ungratefulness found in the American culture and to open the eyes of the American public to true tragedy.
what does the poet mean when she say "their soba are unheard" and their "tears are unseen?"
DeleteThe American Dream
ReplyDeleteIt is the American Dream
What we all strive for and imagine
Indouble-wide trailers to double-wide mansions
In sprouting lakes of fake fish.
Nothing captures its essence
Unbound by time or dust or rot
The thingswe cherish still are lovingly patted
And brought through thecenturies.
It is more than a dream now
It's a reality that the millionshave made
Our heart and soul builds the heaven on earth.
A refuge for thesick,
And a shelter for the needy,
It is everything we desire.
Inthe cherry trucks and laughing children
To indolent teenagers with smokecircling
We see our dream and the actuality
It may not be perfect, but itis our heaven
And so disillusioned we conjure forth our hope.
In thepicket fences we see our childhood
In the sky we see our adulthood
And inthe middle we see our life.
Suspended, but not contained,
It is the dreamthat wakes within us all.
“The American Dream” focuses on how life in itself is capable of being the American dream. He/ she does this by going through events that have occurred throughout one’s life and though “it may not be perfect…it is our heaven”. The poem is written in 1st person, thus allowing a story with first hand experiences to occur. This makes the poem appear to portray a message told my someone much older and wiser. Which gives a learning experience. The title “The American Dream” originally suggest a predictable topic, but then it shifts towards something different, by making the “dream” life itself. The author uses quite a bit of imagery in the portrayal of the “dream”. With this, the dream’s shift from a simple dream to everyday life becomes better realized. The shift to everyday life being the dream occurs “in the cherry trucks”. The main purpose of the poem is to point out the life you live is a dream, and through analysis this becomes better seen.
If You've Got a Minute
ReplyDeleteBy Emanuella R., Brooklyn, NY
I'm so emotionally distant
from all these people that
think I'm discussing, but
these conversations are all
one-sided, so much so that
it's disgusting.
I won't share a single thing
about myself, I'm
so private, but
if you were the one asking,
I'd tell you a secret,
wouldn't hide it.
So deeply personal that you
would not believe it,
but in my mind
that's the definition of
a secret.
I'm wrapped up in my head
and won't let a person in, but
if you stood there knocking,
I'd give you all the passes.
And if I knew you
wouldn't say stuff
to a single living soul,
I would trust you with the
burdens of the things
I've never told.
I would tell you anything,
everything there is to know.
If you said you really cared,
I would give you me whole.
I would give you the answers
to the questions never asked, and
I would even write my story
if you'd read the pages
first to last.
In “If You’ve Got a Minute” by Emanuella R., the primary emotional response from the audience is driven by the wealth of conflicting, pent up emotions that emanate through the speaker’s tone. The speaker wants to pour out her emotions, but refuses to do so in the gossipy ways that she openly deplores in the first few lines, “so much so that it’s disgusting” (5-6). In expressing this, she likens her persona to that of a private room (through a controlling metaphor), rather than a trophy case. The latter of course embraces only the best of the outward, the physical aspects of life; the former, much deeper and more intimate, opens pathways of trust and companionship. These are the true characteristics of “giving someone a minute” according to Emanuella R. and from the overall progression of the tone, from her external appearance to the internal inner workings of her personality, we feel her passionate desire for someone to be the “one asking.”
The Lost Generation by Kiersten Mason, OH.
ReplyDeleteOh why have we settled in the unquiet darkness,
where the noise of the silence overwhelms our hearts?
And we fall apart –
the sun sets and it rises –
we make shapes of ourselves no one can see.
Oh why are we lost in these tears
if we’ve forgotten how to cry?
If absence makes the heart grow fonder
can we hold on much longer?
We are burning in a drought of faith,
unnoticing as the stars are earnestly shining,
desperately bleeding light.
Oh how ironically hopeless
is every star’s forgotten fight,
for we are just uselessly drowning
under the weight,
under the honesty of the unspoken.
Oh the noise of the silence overwhelms our hearts.
I believe we are skillfully crafted
inexplicable accidents,
and our hero – the potter –
is too late.
The title automatically directs the attention to today's generation, and grabs the attention of the reader because it makes me want to know what generation is lost? and what is going to be said to back it up?
the poem is written in first person plural, using "we". The poem has a very dreary tone in the first line the "unquiet darkness" is ironic because generally one thinks of darkness as being quiet but in today's generation, the "lost" generation, our industrial, busy, fast paced society, is devoid of silence. the "sun sets and it rises" referring to time passing by but as it does so, and the days continue to go on, we continue to do nothing to better the world we live in, we instead, "make shapes of ourselves no one can see".
"If absence makes the heart grow fonder
can we hold on much longer?
We live in a world absent of faith, and without faith can we live much longer? our faith is "burning in a drought" symbolizing sin and hell slowly permeating into society. This poem uses symbolism and and foreshadows a terrifying outcome of what might happen to the world we reside if changes are not made. the repetition of "silence" and "unquiet" plays on the fact tht there is noise, but it is meaningless and therefore the equivalent to silence. the "noise of the silence". the author believes that the human race, and her generation in particular is "skillfully crafted" but that God, "the Potter" is "too Late" to save our generation.
therefore playing into the title, "The Lost Generation" because not even God can save us now.
Never Underestimate a Girl
ReplyDeleteYou're sittin' over there
talkin' like you're better than me
like you've got a right, more skill in everything
like it's destined in some prophecy
But let me tell you something
something one day you'll see
one day you'll figure out, what the world is all about
you'll step back to re-evaluate me
re-think your priorities
CHORUS: Never underestimate a girl
cause' one day she will become your world
she understands,she wears the pants
she knows your thoughts with one glance
Never underestimate a girl
cause' one day you'll be on her pay roll
can control you with her finger,
so don't dare too long to linger,
cause' you know she's in control
never underestimate a girl
Go ahead and drop your mouth
you know what I'm talkin' about
guess one day you'll see
Beauty tamed the Beast
Ariel left the sea
we're stronger than you think
CHORUS
Never underestimate a girl
no, never underestimate a girl
In "Never Underestimate A Girl" the author's theme is all about "girl power". She explains in her poem how women can be looked over when it comes to certain tasks. Men are always looked at as the "strong men" and women are usually looked at as the "weak link", but this author believes otherwise. Her tone is very broad and bias because she is explaining that no one should underestimate a girl's abilities. Her theme is man vs. woman because woman can be underestimated in any circumstance compared to a man. A phrase like, "that's a man's job" separates women from men because they're underestimating the ability of a woman. However, women are becoming more powerful in our world because "one day you'll be on her pay roll" and "one day she will become your world". The author doesn't use much imagery in this poem, but she's making more of a statement rather than telling a story. Her diction makes the poem more persuasive because she wants her reader to "Never Underestimate A Girl".
The Body
ReplyDeleteIs a body unconscious a person still?
No mind is present to govern its deeds.
Does a body have dreams, or a fate to fulfill?
No way to feel it when it bleeds.
Can I be a human, too?
Maybe I’m not even real.
But I am flesh, through and through?
Scratch it up, then let it heal.
Or can a monster have a mind?
An evil thing, or weeping ghost.
Are living and breathing intertwined?
A being punished for its host.
With electrical thoughts, is it ever alive?
Just a skin, an empty shell.
Is the soul really needed for the body to thrive?
A carcass washed up on the shores of hell.
The writer is questioning the soul-body connection. The tone is almost ominous as if everything we know about the body is untrue. The imagery is pristine, every line allows the reader to conjure up a question as to how their own body works. The over all message is that it's hard to tell what's real and what isn't.
Shane- I agree the structure of the poem does show the different elements of their relationship.
ReplyDeleteJeffery- The poem is quite depressing. However, it does address a serious issue in many parts of the world.
Clayton- I do understand where your going with your response, but personally I think the tittle does set up and represent a fairly cliche poem/ theme.
Will - I liked how you answered key questions on the future of mankind.
Everyone - Good Job!
Knowing Nothing of This ’Til Then
ReplyDeleteby Edye P.
"I was younger then, but only by months.
Curiosity settled unbearably throughout my limbs
And I waited
Patiently for you to carry yourself down wooden stairs
Rightleftright – my ear against olive-colored carpet
To make sure that coast was clear
Hands resting on hinge of drawer and pulling
I reached inside, ransacked and shifted through its contents
And uncovered your thoughts in journal form (success)
I remembered then how embarrassment
Burnt my cheeks red
Everything you said when you found the
Monster I had hidden in the sheets beneath my bed
And I recalled your tears
The shape your body took, fetally curled
With your knees against your chest
You wept endlessly.
Fearing flood or revenge
I tossed and turned that night, grasping the fact
That I had failed you and again –
When I opened that leather cover and divulged
Your evenly spaced print to my eyes and that entry
I had watched you record on blue printed lines
Night prior, before dark, before saying
“Sharpen this, please!” in an angry tone
From across the hall and again –
With a clean-cut graphite tip you wrote
“October twenty-second …”
In the uppermost corner and proceeded with
“My Journal, I have never felt so alone …”
I think the main purpose of this poem is to communicate the feelings of sadness and remorse that the writer felt when she discovered her sister's journal, without saying it directly. She uses a first person voice to draw the reader into her position, and she progresses from her initial, spiteful excitement to feelings of regret as she reads the last entry in the journal, which clearly states "I've never felt more alone." I think that anyone can relate to this story because almost everyone can recall a moment where they think they might have pushed someone too far or said something more damaging than they intended, and the author conveys this remorse very effectively. The contrast between the dark entry in the journal near the end of the poem and the lighthearted childish prankster attitude at the beginning also serves to dramatize the emotionality of the piece.